i-15

goes all the way to las vegas, and probably further, but

i only take it all

the way to utah county. i always tell people never to go

that far south because it’s trump territory—

a whole county cinched in some red-laced corset

that makes me conscious of my breaths

when wearing my gold nose ring around

there. i only take the highway that far

to take dick from the kid who took my virginity.

we both went on mormon missions

and we both left them early

because we were hungry for cock. i drove

the 45 minutes to him so we could reminisce over

shared religious trauma over

korean noodles before he fucked me over

his twin xl bed in his byu dorm. we stopped

because it fucking hurt and i didn’t know

how to prep for bottoming. he said first times

are always weird, and that i should take PrEP

because it’s free.

nothing costs more than the toll your

pride takes when you shit on someone’s dick,

especially when you have to sit in

traffic next to the empty toll-free lane on the way home.

two years later, they finally finished the construction

on i-15, and those two lanes finally have room

to breathe.

my college boyfriend wanted to break up

to work on himself, but we both knew he knew

i was on grindr

because he didn’t love me like he used to.

i only knew the roads were finally fixed when i rushed

on the highway in some red-strapped jock

because byu boy at least had a half

hour to fuck me outside an industrial site

in provo–past all the temples

with their little gold men topping

the steeples. i let that fuckboy top me

in the back of my mom’s suv,

because there is nowhere further for me to go.