Skating Again at 43
Kickflip because a kickflip first because
They were kickflips the last trick I had dialed
Before I quit I know even though I don’t
Know even though I don’t remember when
I quit or what the thing is quitting skate-
boarding was less me stopping doing some-
thing that particular thing regular-
ly with my body more me saying but to
Whom to myself to nobody me saying
I’m not a skater anymore as if
Instead I might have said I’m not alive
Anymore and been dead just saying so
Wasn’t enough to make it so and also
I died I know I had them kickflips dialed
Before I quit not long before I said
I quit and even though I don’t remember
When I quit I remember quitting was
In kickflips as I learned them not it was-
n’t like a promise I had made to my-
self or to nobody a promise I
Would learn to do this basic trick consist-
ently and so the promise bore the quitting
Born as I dialed kickflips I dialed them old
I was thirty in law school and I had
Been skating almost twenty years I knew
Skateboarding wouldn’t bear even my fan-
tasies of my life anymore at thir-
ty quitting was in everything I learned
And stepping on a board again at for-
ty-three not learning but just trying to
Remember what I had most recently
Learned quitting was I felt it now in
Remembering and leaping spun the board
Into a void I felt a void in my
Memory but in mid-air caught the board
With my back foot stopping the spin and pull-
ing the board back from the void my body pulled
It back my back foot knew its place in the air
Before I knew I still knew how to kickflip
And stopped the spinning that continued in
My mind continued even after I
Stood on the board on the ground again my arms
Out like a gliding seagull’s wings my body
Wobbling like a seagull gliding in
Strong gusts of wind and the wind says to the seagull
Where are you now that I have changed without
Telling you I had changed where are you now
Who once had thought you were at home in me
A Thousand Pictures
A picture says a picture is only a picture of
Not what the picture is a picture of
But what it’s for a
picture is a picture
of the future even when
You’re older and you can’t remember the
Trip and you can’t remember
anybody / Else on the team and what position
did you play / What
were you eating you
can’t tell / Even though you see
its color on your fork
Even though you see your face
You’re not sure now
whether you were afraid / Of the deer eating
from your hand and was your hand / Empty
you don’t see any food in the picture
And was somebody
whispering / Hold out your hand / Who
was whispering / Who took the picture who
could tell you now
Who knows enough about your life to
Give your life back to you / A picture says
your life has no beginning
A thousand pictures say your life
Will end a thousand times
